So I’ve been seeing this girl for a little bit now, and things are moving pretty slow—honestly, I don’t mind taking it slow 😌. But recently, a few things have started to make me wonder 🤔. I’d love to get some opinions from you guys—when it comes to dating, what’s the “fair” amount of effort each person should be putting in? Especially from a woman’s perspective, are there things you just expect the guy to handle?

Like, here’s a specific example: whenever we go out, I’ve been covering all the costs. It’s not a huge deal; I’m okay with paying. But it’s also always my car, my gas, and I’m the one doing all the driving. She’s not working right now, so I get that money’s tight, but even so… would it be too much to ask for her to meet me halfway sometimes? There have been times when the place we’re going to is closer to where I live, but I still have to go pick her up, then double back to the venue. It feels a bit tiring, y’know? 😅

One night, I even asked her a random question I found online: is she more of a “giver” or a “taker”? She said it “depends on the person,” and honestly, that kinda confirmed what I’d been feeling... It seems like she’s happy to put in effort with friends, but with me, it feels more one-sided. Like she’s mostly just taking.

Recently, her schedule changed, and I decided to set a bit of a boundary. I told her it was starting to feel like I’m the one putting in all the effort. She apologized if she made me feel bad, but her response was pretty neutral, like she didn’t really get why I felt that way. I just sent a thumbs-up emoji and left it at that, because honestly… I’m not sure what else there is to say. 😐 If I’m not feeling valued, I don’t see the point in pushing things forward.

So I guess my question is—am I being unreasonable? Is this kinda dynamic normal, where the guy’s just expected to handle everything? 🤷‍♂️ I don’t want to compare to past relationships, but it didn’t feel this one-sided before. Would love to hear what you guys think!