Hey everyone,

I met this amazing girl, let’s call her K. We clicked instantly. We met online in October 2019, and for a couple of months, things were amazing. We talked every day, and it felt like the best time of my life.

After a while, she told me she liked me, but I wasn’t ready for a relationship—I was just out of a breakup. So I got awkward and started avoiding those "relationship" talks. In January 2020, we had a fight (I don’t even remember why) and stopped talking for a month. We eventually made up, but things were different—drier, colder. By June, she started dating someone else, and we lost touch.

Months later, I missed her a lot and wrote her a long letter to say sorry and thank her for everything. She reached out in October, said she read it and was moved, but stopped texting soon after. We tried talking a few more times, but it was always short-lived. Then, in June 2021, she messaged me, telling me she was struggling after a recent breakup. We started talking again every day, and she said her feelings for me were back. We even said “I love you” again. It felt like maybe we could have something real.

We met in July for the first time—things were good, just a bit shy, but that’s normal, right? I was happy. A few days later, we planned to meet again, and I drove almost 400 km to see her. I brought flowers, but she seemed distant. She didn’t want to hug, even though she’d said before she wanted to cuddle. She was tense, and it felt off. I was supposed to stay for five days, but when her cousin came back early, I offered to leave, and she didn’t object at all. That hurt, honestly.

After I left, I messaged her, apologizing for being a burden, for not being who she expected. She said she wasn’t ready for a relationship, and it all felt too weird for her. I could feel her pulling away after that. When I asked her directly, she admitted she still wasn’t over her ex, and my attempts to be affectionate felt too fast for her. She said she couldn’t be around any guy without thinking about her ex. But then she also said she wanted to use her phone less, even though I can see she’s online all the time.

I don’t know what to do. Should I give her space? Should I just move on? I really care about her and want this to work, but she feels so distant, and it’s tearing me apart. I don’t want to be pushy, but I also don’t want to keep feeling like I’m unwanted or in the wrong. I’m really scared of losing her, but I also can’t take much more of this feeling.

Thanks for listening—I really appreciate any advice you might have. ❤️