Six years ago, my daughter and grandson moved in with me after she left an abusive relationship. The plan was for her to get back on her feet and move out when she was stable. But then, six months later, I went through something unimaginable—a home invasion that left me with severe PTSD and agoraphobia. My daughter stepped in, took care of me, and became my rock through those dark years, essentially reversing our roles.

During that time, her ex-boyfriend, who had caused so much pain before, moved back into my home with the understanding that he’d work full-time and save money so they could eventually get their own place. To his credit, he has shown a lot of growth—no more anger issues, more responsibility, and a real commitment to their family. However, he also has a child from another relationship, which comes with high child support payments. And while he’s technically self-employed, he only works a couple of times a week, leaving my daughter to carry most of the financial burden.

After years of therapy, I’ve mostly recovered and reclaimed my independence. But getting them to move out has turned into a constant struggle. They agree to a plan but never follow through. He recently bought a truck they can’t afford to license, claiming he needed it to transport the kids, and that became yet another reason why they “couldn’t” move out. Now my daughter is six months pregnant, and there’s simply no space in my three-bedroom home for another child.

I’ve told them they need to move, but every time I bring it up, my daughter explodes. She tells me she won’t leave, threatens that I’ll have to evict them, and says if I do, I’ll lose access to my grandkids. She knows how much they mean to me, and she uses that—and my PTSD triggers—as leverage. I feel manipulated, disrespected, and stuck.

I love her and want the best for her, but I don’t know what to do. My grandson has been with me since he was a baby, and I know it would devastate him if I had to cut ties to protect my own mental health. This situation has become a painful, toxic cycle, and I’m at a loss. She’s my only child, and I never imagined things would turn out this way. I know I’ve enabled parts of this situation because of my own trauma and guilt, but I feel trapped, torn between my love for her and my own well-being.

If anyone has been through something similar or has advice, I’d be grateful to hear it.