Hey everyone, I need some advice.

I met this girl online a few weeks ago, and we’ve been on five dates now. We get along really well—she initiates texts, calls, and even plans dates sometimes. She’s fully engaged when we’re together, doesn’t check her phone, and we usually end up extending our dates. I really like her and want to see where this goes, but there are a couple of things that are throwing me off.

First, she seems a bit secretive. For example, she’s going out of town for work, and when I asked which city she was going to, she wouldn’t tell me, just said it was for “client work.” Another time, she wouldn’t let me see her last name on a waiver form. Plus, anytime we take photos together, it has to be on her phone, and she only sends me pictures where it’s just me, not us together. It makes me wonder if she’s hiding something… or hiding me.

Then there’s the physical side. Despite five dates, we haven’t held hands, kissed, or really had any physical contact beyond hugs. I’ve tried to initiate small things like putting my arm around her or high-fiving, but she usually pulls away. It’s confusing, though, because sometimes she’ll turn around and hug me a second time after we say goodbye, or she’ll reach out in little ways—only to pull back again. I know she was in an abusive relationship before, and she told me upfront that it takes her a while to warm up, so I’m trying to be patient. But I’m also putting off dating other people to see where this goes, and my patience isn’t unlimited.

So, here’s my question: Should I give it a couple more dates and then have a conversation about where we stand? Or am I right to start questioning things now? Do you think her behavior means she’s just scared or could it be a sign of disinterest? Any advice would be really helpful!