Hey, everyone. First time posting here. I’m going through a really rough breakup and honestly don’t have anyone to talk to about it who actually gets it. My girlfriend and I were together for a little over two years, and we’d been living together for the last nine months. Then, out of the blue, she tells me things “aren’t working out” and that we should break up. I moved out, but I asked her to at least think it over. She said she needed time, which I was fine with.

But less than a week later, she told me she was sure we’re not getting back together and that she just wants to be alone. She also said she still “cares” about me and “has love” for me, but she’s not in love with me anymore. That part hit me like a ton of bricks, especially because just a couple of weeks ago she was asking if I’d ever thought about marriage. I didn’t take it too seriously at the time (probably brushed it off more than I should have), but now I’m wishing I’d actually had that conversation with her.

I know I messed up in a lot of ways. I was working a lot, and even when I was home, I’d spend way too much time on my computer instead of actually being there for her. I can see why that would hurt her, and I’d give anything for a second chance to make it right.

Right now, I’m trying to respect her space and not contact her at all, at least until Valentine’s Day. My idea is to send her flowers at work and ask if she’d go out to dinner with me—just as friends, no pressure. But I’m not sure if that’s a terrible idea that’ll just push her further away, or if it could maybe open the door a crack. I’d love to hear any thoughts on that... I’m honestly at a loss here.

It’s rough. She’s the only person I ever really saw myself growing old with, and now it’s like I’m missing this huge part of my life. I feel physically sick, like I’ve got the flu, but no medicine’s going to fix this. I’ve cried myself to sleep the last couple nights and keep waking up every hour or so, feeling like I’ve been punched in the gut. I’m basically a zombie at work, and if I let my mind wander, I just start tearing up.

I’ve had serious relationships before, but this one felt different. I really thought she was “the one.” I keep hearing people say, “If it’s meant to be, it’ll work out,” but I can’t shake this fear that I screwed it up too badly to ever get another shot with her.

Anyway, thanks for reading all this. I know I’m rambling, but I really just needed to get it out. If anyone has advice—whether on my Valentine’s Day idea or just how to survive this—I’d really appreciate it.